Stef’s Survival Guide: Top 10 Dos and Don’ts of Newport Folk Fest

Our favorite festival of the year is only three days away, and it seems appropriate for us to share our wisdom before a new class of NFFers sets sail to shiny Newport Folk Fest 2014.

In other words, don’t learn from your mistakes. Learn from ours.

1) Don’t wear shoes you don’t want getting muddy.
If there’s a splash of rain, you’ll be sorry you wore those super-cute espadrilles, ladies. And guys, you’ll be sorry you wore … whatever the equivalent is for men.

2) Do eat the lobster rolls.
Because, duh.

3) Don’t waste any time drinking in the specified beer area.
Seriously. Don’t. Unless it’s legitimately within the space of time in which absolutely no acts of interest to you are playing. But even then, technically you should also probably check out those acts too, because you may grow to love them or discover something new. Instead…

4) Do go to Smokehouse in downtown Newport.
Sit outside in the open patio, and drink X amount of their Cojito mason jar cocktails. (And do share with us any of your own personal faves that we should be trying out)

5) Do leave 10 minutes early at night to beat some of the crowd to the ferry line if you…
a) don’t have your own wheels and b) don’t enjoy standing for a really long time. In a line.

6) Don’t underestimate the power of the “unexpected afternoon thunder storm.”
Read as: bring a poncho.

7) Do bring your fine straw hat.
Or at least one of them. If ever there was a place where fashion and function could intermingle in a way that would prevent you from getting an awkward sunglass sunburn, this is it.

8) Don’t trim your beard or hide your tattoos.
This ain’t the place for it.

9) Do arrive early enough before the start of the fest each day to set up space near the main stage. It fills up fast. Like, really fast. Case in point: if you think I’m gonna let anybody get between me and my front row view of Ryan Adams or Jack White, you cray. Now multiply me by 500. Get there early.

10) Don’t walk around spreading rumors that Neil Young will be making a cameo in the final act’s slot on Sunday.
Even though you guys, I swear THIS year he really will. I feel it.